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“life will be better in spring”

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oh man.
next week is gp common test
next 2 weeks will be the offical start of all common tests.

die. i havent start anything yet. i think this school is rushing us like mad to chiong our studies real hard. seriously, i dont feel like studying. because everyday when i got back home, i just feel very exhausted, and i dont feel like revising. i only do homework. and after homework, i sleep like some pig. whahaha. okay, i'm going to start studying now. every monday i will start studying with peizhen as my monday study buddy. yea =)

after common test, i'm going to be real busy. yes, tons and tons of choir meetings and choir stuffs to do. cos CONCERT IS COMING! yes, i'm cant wait for that to come. but before that i have to memorise my sop parts and try to reach those freaking high notes without much difficulties. singing low notes is so much easier and its more fun since not everyone can hit low. haha.

today both gp teacher and pe teacher didnt come. my class spent our gp period playing cards and we gambled a little. i won 50 cents from kaiee..haha. after that was geo period. at that time i had sudden headache. i couldnt concentrate what mr osman was saying =p. at the end of the lesson, he showed our expected msg.. for me was 3.4. i doubt i can can reach a C since i am totally hopeless for my physical geo component.

after that was a short half an hour break. i met peizhen and we chatted a while.. somehow i feel very comfortable being with her. she is my locker buddy;sop buddy; exco buddy and monday study buddy. she gives me constant encouragement and i'm glad that she is always there when i need someone.

pe today was horrible man. 12 rounds = 4.8km! so damn tired and my stamina was deproving! luckily my father fetched me home... otheriwse i would be so tired to move my feet.

i'm going to sleep early today. muahaha

now i'm at home packing my bag for tomorrow.

this morning i woke up at 8.30am and read a book to past my time since i had nothing to do. suddenly, i had a sudden inspiration to write a poem.. haha.. a particular phrase jus flashed through my mind. i want to make used of the inspiration so i quickly grab my pen and a piece of paper. however, that wonderful inspiration i just had was gone. i realised for the past years.. those things that i loved to do so much was gone. for example, my love for poetry; i used to write poems whenever i feel upset or bored during class periods. my passion for fashion design has gone into the air. suddenly. i joined a fashion design competition when i was sec2 and i remember getting As for designing my so-call own labels. slowly, these hobbies of mine just disappeared after i finished my o levels. guess thats jus the opportunity cost of studying intensively.

i really want it back. i really do. forcing myself to write a poem or jus spin out a design is an impossible task to me. by doing so, it jus makes me lose my confidence; these poems and drawings seem to be getting worse and worse. the dreams i used to hold on so tightly is gone. i want to be a kid back.

i may be removing this blog since it cant really express my true feelings since secrets can never be revealed. or maybe i jus make it into a private blog since not much people visit my blog. so ya. i'll miss this blog cos it has been 'alive' since i was sec3. lets see how it goes :)

i've changed my blogskin 2 days ago.. think it looks quite special and very meaningful.

anyway, i will be staying at my aunt's house till this friday. my parents went to taiwan and they wants me to stay with them since they think that i couldnt take care of myself and my bro will bring frens which will bring inconvenience to me. but i enjoy staying at my aunt's hse. its gives me more freedom to do more stuffs. haha.

staying at my aunt's house will make me grow fat. arGGHH! too many goodies and cakes for me to savour. my aunt and cousin are great bakers.. i learnt baking from them. and also, i stayed up late to watch movies on HBO channel almost everyday till 1.30pm. yesterday didnt really visit every relatives' house. i followed my cousin to visit their father's side to get extra hangbaos ;). today didnt visit anyone..so went to watch movie with my cousins.. we jus grab any movie that is the earliest. we watched jack neo's movie Just Follow Law. not a very nice show la.. but will make u moved to tears if you are those emotional type. while watching the movie, i dropped my phone and the plastic cover fell off.. couldnt find it after the movie was over.

somehow i couldnt communicate with my cousin who is 16 this year. maybe becos i didnt go over to my grandma hse and also, both of us are from different school. she's now in the school which i dislike and she always insult pj. but i dun really care abt whether she insults pj or not. the point is, everytime i tell her my word of advice, she jus shoot me off.. with no regard that afterall, i'm still older than her by 1 year and 3 months. i have a wider range of experience that she doesnt have. i know she feels hurt after we 2 had the silent conflict. i too feel really bad that our relationship has drifted apart.. further and further. alot of things that she used to tell me is now shared with her mother. we become very distant especially after the demise of my uncle and i dun understand why. i hope we still can be as closed as before...

visiting my relatives tmr.. better rest well tonite.

happy new year anywaes =)

oh ya, mikhail ,heres the link:

http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/

okay, something is wrong with my taggy again.. but its fine now.

i quite okay with my red specs now since no one except one told me my red specs is better than my frameless specs. phew.. otherwsie, i will be wasting my mum's 270 bucks. haha.. anyway, saturday my cousins and i went to tanjong pagar and hunt down for new year goodies. i enjoy doing this kind of food search activity since i love eating so much and i dun mind going an extra mile for FOOD. my cousins and i usually went to search for those yummy food after we read it on the newspaper. there are many bakeries there.. and its hard to find the exact one. anyway, we got ourseleves pineapple milk ball and cup-like taiwan egg tarts. we also went to the muffin shop and bought lotsa muffins and finally we found the shop that we want..but.. they do not accept anymore orders.. haiz.. waste our time searching that cheesy pineapple tarts. haha..

anyway, our next search is the famous doughnuts at the basement of raffles shopping centre.. everytime when we wana buy the doughnuts, the queue is always super LONGGGGG. i dun think i can the chance to have a bite loh.

finally we headed for a family dinner at bouna vista. all our relatives were scrutinising my specs.. haha.. okay, they said i looked.. okay. equivalent to dont say at all.

monday phy test was quite difficult i guess.. only manage to prove the equation and the last qn i super blur leh.. but anyway, its over now.. after the test, i went to look for choir excos to discuss about our camp proposal for JAE.

today finally wore the class' jersey! looks ultra baggy on me.. but nvm.. its looks cool when everyone is wearing.. heard from my fren that her class is so envious of our class jersey =)

i ddint realised that my tagboard is gone. nvm, i will do something to do it later.

yesterday in the morning my eyes were really painful. when i reached school, i try to sleep a lil.. but tears were flowing out when i open my eyes widely. i wanted to go home after morning assembly but my mum, she did not want me to go home. she said so what if i have eye infection? i still need to attend school. i was so angry.. i feel that she doesnt care about me at all. i went to sick bay and sleep a lil and my eyes felt lots better. yi han woke me up and went to class.

during the J2 assembly, mr yeo talked about types of studying style and what type pf people we are.. i think i belong to the 'khoon people' .. haha.. basically just keep sleeping and sleeping. what mr yeo makes alot of sense. i think he's a wise man(though he not old la) but such a pity, my attention span was short-lived.. i tried to nap a little when he's talking.

after the talk, we had our CT period. jae was dicussing what to put into our yu-sheng during CNY.. we put lotsa sweet stuffs and fishball crackers.. haha.. i think it will taste good? after school, siyuan went to look for me and ate lunch together with teng.

actually i wana study a lil before going home for a rest. however, joanna was decorating the board.. so me and teng went to help out. hey, the choir broad looks realy nice..lotsa better than before. haha. we saw the CO's slogan and we -_-... go and check it out urself. finally its 4pm. i shld have go home by this time.. but choir starts at 5. jus 1 more hr left.. so i decided to stay but i'm NOT going to sing. i want to rest. still.. sigh.. my conductress insisted that i have to sing till i faint. oh well. k loh. i just not performing with my best effort loh.

after prac, pei zhen and i had a meeting with our dear karissa. yup, she told us stuffs that we wouldnt know if no one has told us.very disappointing though. but ya, we are going to discuss with our SLs. this pz ah, nev call me at 12.30 yesterday. after some clarification, we had our actual exco meeting and took dinner together.. we chatted till 10 plus and i reached home at 11pm. my mum started scolding me for coming late. she wanted me to finish my school activites and she still wants me to go home early. thats impossible with the long excos meeting and stuffs like that.

today have alot of stuffs to do. going to yjc carnival to meet laura =)

its preety accurate for me when i'm hadling some problems:

Gemini: Talk It Out

When crisis hits, the first thing a Gemini does is pick up the phone and a call a trusted friend. This is the perfect reaction, for reaching out and listening to get an objective observer's opinion will offer air sign Gemini another person's perspective, a fresh insight or two and new information they may not have considered. Highly cerebral and analytical, Mercury-ruled Gemini likes to see all sides of their situation to feel that they have thought of all possible options. Simply by relating what is wrong, Gemini sees the parameters of their situation better than if they had remained silent.

Do keep in mind that with all this relating to others, you could get confused or overwhelmed with all the varying responses you get. Eventually you will have to draw the line and come to closure. Sometimes Gemini procrastinates, so ask yourself why you're holding out and if there is something troubling you about the situation. Ferret out whatever is preventing you from proceeding with your usual vigor and enthusiasm. Your mutable quality makes you highly flexible and adaptable, a real asset in times of change.

If possible, get a change of scene by going away for a few days. Getting over a breakup, deciding on a career switch, figuring out how to pay too many bills--any problem will to find a quicker solution when a Gemini is away from home and not distracted by everyday duties. The trip need not be to a distant place--a nearby city would do--but it has to offer enough stimulus to keep high-IQ Gemini busy and entertained. Therefore, don't go to a deserted beach or quiet village. Rather, choose a place where you could take in a few cultural things during the day and reconnect with old friends over dinner. Nothing rejuvenates a Gemini from stress like a trip, even a weekend getaway, as long it is to a place that is either new or a place they haven't seen in a while.


anyway, yesterday was fun getting into the mood of the j1 orinetation. the choir members danced and sang alot and jus scream for nothing when its not even our orientation. wahaha. i finally learned the sop part of school song but i keep forgettign and right now, i'm learning to read the scores and play the piano! yey. new skill.. will be beneficial for me when comes learnin the songs.